I’m back…

It’s been a whirlwind last couple of weeks. I have been super busy and I apologize to everyone for not updating sooner!!! I was doing some training on the East Coast and didn’t have access to a private computer. The only laptop available was shared by a bunch of people, so I felt it safe to stay away from this blog (you never know whose watching). I had a week off after that, which I spent in Virginia visiting some friends (straight friends). I’m now in the airport in DC waiting for my flight to arrive (which has already been delayed 2 hours). I’ll by flying to NYC, then to Denver, and into San Diego.

I never realized how hot a man can look in a black suit carrying a briefcase. They are everywhere here in DC! Would that be considered a fetish?! How I’d love to head to a bathroom some where and have some fun with one of these suits: but the recent ordeal with that one Senator comes to mind, so I’m over that.. 🙂 

The wireless connection is really spotty where I’m sitting, so I’m going to keep this short. Basically, I’m BACK! I haven’t died or anything…I’ll try and post in NYC or Denver (if I have a layover in one of those cities). I have alot to tell…

Hit Close to Home

A Marine I’ve been kind of close to since I’ve lived in San Diego may be getting discharged from the Corps for being “Gay”. Turns out someone found a bunch of magazines and porn in his barracks room and INSTANTLY told his Gunny (Superior). He called me pretty frantic so I had to go over and calm him down. The next day at work he said he was in the Sgt. Majors  office already discussing what would happen to him. I guess his Sgt. Maj. is a pretty decent guy and wants to keep the situation quiet and says he respects my buddy’s right to sexual preference but has his hands tied in how he can handle the situation. Since the news got out to his entire squadron, theres no way to hide the issue. And because of this, the command has to proceed with an admin separation. 

This guy really had a bright future ahead of him, it’s a shame the bigot who found the “illegal materials-as they are calling them” in his room had to say anything. But that’s the way it is in the Marine Corps, you never know what your going to get. It’s either hot or cold. There are those who who could care less if their buddy was gay, so long as he leaves them out of it, and there are those who come from middle america and think gays are the devil!! My guess is this Marine who squealed was a big homophobe. 

My buddy is really worried he’s going to get shafted and get a bad discharge. Some people floated the idea of pursuing NJP or Court Martial but I dont think it will go that far.—For gay Marines it can be scary sometimes. All it takes is that one person to see or hear something and your career could be over. They dont care how hard you’ve worked, if your name and the word gay are in the same sentence, it’s over!!! The last few days have been stressful for me because of all this hoopla. 

Be Careful who you trust all you Military folks out there!!! 🙂

I started painting again tonight. Trying not to let all this get to me. I even bought a tennis ball machine. I bought a bunch of songs on itunes. Trying to immense myself in things that will keep me busy/distracted. I dont need any issues with my job right now!!!

I will show off some of my paintings this week. It’s therapeutic for me to be creative. *Hopefully you’ll like**

Dress Blues

I’m finally awake, with no hangover!! I drank quite a bit last night but thankfully remember everything that happen. I went to the same old Flicks bar to start off the night. Had a few drinks, talked to a few “different” older men (because those are the only ones who seem to flock to me). I know the medium fade haircut attracts all the chicken hawks like flies to shit. I dont mind it though. I actually prefer the older 28-35 business type of guy to your typical young gay twink. One guy picked up on the fact I was in the military (like it’s not obvious) and kept asking me about my Dress Blues. He must’ve told me 300 times how he loves seeing a man in dress blues and watching a man undress out of their blues. I’m with him on that; nothing better than a Man in his blues, but this guy was borderline “rapist” and was making me pretty uncomfortable.

He went on for what seemed an eternity until finally I just told him straight up to get away, I was NOT interested!! Of course, he planted himself directly across from me on the other-side of the bar and didn’t look away once. CREEP!

After Flicks I went to the club next door, which I have now forgotten the name of! Maybe I was too drunk?! I felt weird going alone and for the first 45 minutes or so I just hung out on the wall. I kept getting more & more drinks to loosen myself up because I really wanted to *dance*. I eventually made my way to the floor and started dancing alone. That didn’t last long as a small group of pretty attractive frat type guys swallowed me up. There I was gyrating all over these guys, with a massive hard on to beat. I of course had my favorite out of the three guys and started grinding with him exclusively. We ended up making out FOREVER, with his hands down my pants half the time…I had a good time…. 😉 I didn’t go home with him but got his number. Turns out he’s a grad student at UCSD and lives up in La Jolla. I definitely scored on that one! 

When I got back to my room last night my roommate (that shares the head, not room) was throwing up hardcore. Only thing I cared about was that he was wearing nothing but a skin tight pair of boxer briefs. (White, so I could almost make out what was underneath). Of course I had to be nosy, so went in the bathroom, put my hand on his back (I had to touch him-his body is smoking) to ask if he needed anything: I was really there to check him out and hope he passed out so I could have my way…or not…He was pretty out of it so I let him be. Back in my room, I stripped completely naked and fell asleep!! 

A buddy from work just called and wants to me to go to LA with him and a few other Marines. I may just do that…

My first Gay date

My heart was pumping uncontrollably the entire taxi ride to Hillcrest from the base. I’ve never been to a “gay area”, let alone a bar, and thats exactly where I was headed. I looked up “Flicks” and read a few reviews online. It sounded like the only decent gay bar in Hillcrest. It was a bit of a step for me to jump right into the piraña tank when i’ve never even met an “open/out” gay. God I was so nervous, I just dont know how to act around guys who dont care im gay and actually think it’s hot. 

My Marine buddies act like they are accepting of alternative lifestyles but I dont think it’d be wise to come out to any I know. I’m not close enough to any devil dogs to trust them with a secret that could get me kicked out of the service. It’s frustrating but exciting at the same time trying to hide a secret like this. I guess it makes it easier because I dont really live as a gay guy behind the scenes. That’s not by choice either but rather circumstance. I think it’s about time I come out of the closet a bit more and see what being gay is all about. Going to Flicks on Friday was my first step in that.

My knees were shaking the whole time the bouncer was checking my military ID. Why was I soo nervous?! I walked into the bar and turned a few heads (I must say I’m proud about that). I got myself a Rum & Coke and became the bars lonesome wall flower. I’m usually a social person, but what do you say to another solo gay guy standing next to you?! “Nice arms, you work out?” or maybe cut straight to it? “Your hot, wanna fuck?!!”  I couldn’t dare make a fool of myself and say something stupid to anyone, so I kept to myself for awhile. The bartender flirted with me a bit and ended up giving me a few free drinks. As I started to get antsy a young (26) white *Gorgeous* guy (5’10,175 pure lean muscle) came up to me and asked if he could buy me a drink. I kinda froze for a second and didn’t know what to say. He bought the drink anyway and introduced himself as Justin. He complimented me on a few of my tattoos and asked where I was stationed. He could tell I was RIDICULOUSLY nervous and did a good job of making me feel comfortable. We ended up chatting for over 45 minutes and he gave me his number and asked to hang out later this week! 

So is it customary to fuck on a first gay date? I’ve known plenty a straight couples who wait weeks/months before they fuck their brains out, but I’ve always thought guys were different. Can you tell if a guy has never been fucked before? What will it feel like?! Shit, these are things I better figure out before I chill with Justin.